Monsters of the Atomic Age!

Like any great horror movie tag-line or comic-book cover, the above title is a little deceiving. I guess I could have titled this article Monsters of the New Age or Monsters of the New Millennium but both of those are misleading as well. I am talking about the monsters that have sprung forth from the fertile imaginations of modern writers. Creatures that have no correlation in folklore, modern or antiquated, and thereby have an almost surreal believability. I guess that these horrors represent modern man’s fears just as Varney the Vampire did those in the Victorian era.

Certainly writers of prose are almost always ahead of everyone else and I think that you can trace the kind of stuff that Chris Carter has helped make more common to folks like Arthur Machen; “the Great God Pan” for instance melds ancient myth with modern science to create a truly original monster. But it isn’t until good old H.P Lovecraft & Robert E. Howard really started the Cosmic Age of horror that truly modern monstrosities came about. Both authors did have classical abominations in their repertoires, vampires, werewolves, ghosts and witches, and they both helped bring obscure legends into the modern literary fold. Lovecraft with his depictions of ghoul culture in his Dream cycle and Howard the zuvembie; in what still may be the best representation of voodoo in horror with his seminal “Pigeons from Hell”. Both of these men created incredible original creatures, Lovecraft’s Deep Ones, Gugs and Shoggoths being just a few and Howard helped really perfect the anti-hero, as well. I kind of feel both men would be very upset that I attribute the dawning of any kind of “Modern Age” to them but they really flipped the switch.

Fritz Leiber began his stellar career as Lovecraft and Howard’s meteoric lives ended and in 1942 he brought urban despair into the ghost story with a tale that still chills me any time I get on an elevated train, “Smoke Ghost”. Leiber describes his spectre as “…a ghost from the world of today, with the soot of the factories on its face and the pounding of machinery in its soul…” and it feeds on the oppressive depression that faces many city-dwellers. A truly chilling and original supernatural threat.,

With the advent of television came a slew of new and interesting monsters. THE TWILIGHT ZONE is loaded with post-modern abominations like the Boogey-Man that harrowed William Shatner in “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”; based upon a story by the man that made the undead modern, Richard Matheson, and it’s direct descendant THE OUTER LIMITS actually had a monster of the week, referred to by the crew as “the Bear”! These included such unbefore seen creeps like the criminal exiled Zanti Misfits and man-made monsters like Robert Culp’s surgically altered propaganda pawn in “The Architects of Fear”.

I’ve already mentioned Chris Carter and THE X-FILES, despite it’s later foibles, was a breeding ground for both supernatural and pseudo-scientific miscreants. In the episode “The Host” we were introduced to the Flukeman, an anthropomorphic parasitic worm attacking sewer workers in Atlantic City. There were Lanny and Leonard, a simpleton drunk and his vestigial conjoined twin who would detach to seek new hosts. Veteran character actor Vincent Schiavelli’s portrayal of the brothers was one of the many high-lights in the episode “Humbug”, which also starred Jim Rose and the Enigma from Mr. Rose’s Traveling Sideshow. Chester Banton, played by Tony Shalhoub to paranoid perfection in the episode “Soft Light” is a scientist who’s shadow has become destructive Dark Matter. Virgil Incanto, was carnivorous chubby-chaser portrayed by Timothy Carhart in the episode “2Shy”, who subsists on human fatty tissue and “Leonard Betts” is a living tumor that must devour cancer to survive, played by Paul McCrane, known for getting hit by 2 different helicopters on ER. But most memorable of all is Eugene Victor Tooms (Doug Hutchison) the liver eating mutant that can fit through any space, who after his seventh kill hibernates for 30 years in a paper mache cocoon, constructed with Tooms’ own bile as an adhesive. Eee-eh-eh-yeeew!

While I was never a huge fan of the show BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER did a lot of original stuff with vampires and had some keen new twists on old favorites. Like season one’s episode “The Puppet Show” which starred my friend Rich Werner as a ventriloquist in possession of possessed dummy! However the episode from the series with the most chilling and original monsters Joss Whedon has given us is “Hush”. The Gentlemen (played by Camden Toy, Doug Jones and Charlie Brumbly) were a refreshing force for malevolence, demonic undertakers that steal the voices of everyone in Sunnydale. However, the really creepy things in this episode were the Footmen, loosed-sleeve straight-jacketed minions of the Gentleman. With their heads wrapped in filthy bandages, they spring through the streets with a baboon-like gate swinging their arms wildly as the Gentlemen floated along beside them.

I am sure that I am missing a few of my own favorites, I’d like to hear about some of yours! I completely avoided any denizens of darkness that first appeared in four colors. I could probably write a book on the new creatures that have appeared in the pages of Dan Brereton’s NOCTURNALS, Eric Powell’s THE GOON or Mike Mignola’s HELLBOY (much less the films of his occasional collaborator Guillermo Del Toro) so we’ll leave that territory for the next blog. I also feel I would be completely remiss if I wrote a column about original grotesqueries and didn’t mention the work of my friend Travis Louie! Please, go out and look at his book CURIOSITIES. I guarantee you won’t be able to leave the store without a copy. Just pay for it before you leave, okay?

Werewolves? There wolves, there castle!

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I haven’t seen THE WOLF MAN yet but I did sit back and watch the classic Universal film recently and I have to ask you; does everybody in that village know that damn poem? All kidding aside, I assure you I have long had an appreciation for werewolves. Like many children at the age of nine I would spend my free periods in the library pouring over books about horror and the occult. While having had some interest in vampires in my time, they certainly have had their moments in film and literature, I have always been drawn to the lycanthropic denizens of celluloid and paperback. They just appealed to me as a kid, the eternal beast struggling to get out while the rational man of honor desperately struggles with what he invariably will do.

Alright, maybe that’s too heady for a fifth-grader but werewolves were really cool! I was very lucky to be at a tender age when THE HOWLING and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON hit theaters. Both are considered high points of early 80s special effects monster classics, though I have to admit I watched the former recently and it doesn‘t hold up as well as the David Naughton vehicle when it comes to transformations. THE HOWLING could have used a little tighter editing and maybe the change could’ve been sped up a little. The film isn‘t as well made as LONDON, but I guess you only get one werewolf masterpiece in a season, right? Yeah, I know that THE WOLFEN came out that year, too. But it was kind of lost on me at the time even though I have come to adore Gregory Hines’ performance in it.

As a kid I also had the benefit of the 4:30 Movie on WABC as a kid. Other than the classic Universal THE WOLF MAN, there was such fare as THE BEAST MUST DIE was a who-is-it mystery in which a eclectic group of characters are brought to a remote mansion to endure the interrogations of a big game hunter that is convinced one of them is a werewolf! Featuring Hammer Horror fixture and everybody’s favorite Grand Moff Peter Cushing! The movie actually had a 30-second intermission towards the end of the film called the “Werewolf Break” wherein the audience was asked to guess the identity of the werewolf, kind of like a lycanthropic episode of Ellery Queen. Another from that era was called THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF, which I don’t remember well, but was the story of a kid whose dad had become a shape-changer. I’d love to get my hands on this, as it was the last film directed by Nathan Juran, the man that brought us such greats as 20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH, ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN, THE 7TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD and the Ronald Reagan/Nancy Davis vehicle HELLCATS OF THE NAVY!

I did manage to catch Stephen King’s SILVER BULLET recently, which wouldn‘t be so terrible with it’s dancing bear costume werewolf; it does after all have Terry O’Quinn, the man known to fans of LOST as John Locke, but it’s based on one of my favorite novels by King, CYCLE OF THE WEREWOLF. This little tome, probably King’s shortest work published as a novel, contains illustrations both black & white and color by the undisputed Master of the Macabre, Bernie Wrightson! Bernie’s werewolf designs are simply the best ever and while Everett McGill’s transformation is great, the final werewolf looks like he went on to get a gig on the Conan O’Brian show because of his masturbatory habits. LADYHAWKE came out that year also and it was a fun non-werewolf werewolf movie. With a cast of Rutger Hauer, Matthew Broderick and Michelle Pfeiffer, it was a great adventure film with an excellent bad guy but no transformations. Michelle appeared in another good werewolf movie without a werewolf in it, WOLF. While there’s no real transformation or monster effects in this film, Jack Nicholson and James Spader wolfed out a little more. I do understand that Jack has been mistaken for a coyote going through someone’s garbage after a Golden Globes party.

While I hate to admit that I haven’t watched GINGER SNAPS all the way through (my co-founder Stew Goldstein swears by it and I hold his taste in very high regard) there have been some more recent ventures into the genre that I’ve enjoyed, DOG SOLDIERS for one, was not only a great werewolf flick but a helluva military siege film. And the first film I can think of were the werewolves not only show intelligence but use firearms! Sumbitches beat me and Stewie to it! There’s been a resurgence in werewolf interest lately and I am just hoping that we don’t see the tastes of Team Jacob have a sweeping effect on the genre but I ain‘t betting on it!

BAD GIRLS ON GOOD FRIDAY! Burlesque on Long Island brought to you by BellMojo and Sugar Shack! Featuring Musical Guests CRAVING STRANGE!

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We are very happy and excited to announce that BellMojo Brings Burlesque To Long Island is going to be a monthly event! P. J. Finnegan’s in Levittown will be serving as our host for these events and we will once again be collaborating with the wonderful gals from Sugar Shack Burlesque. Our first event will be on Friday, April 2nd and will be called BAD GIRLS ON GOOD FRIDAY and our musical guest will be CRAVING STRANGE!

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I have to mention that you can listen to Craving Strange being interviewed by the legendary DAVE RABBIT here. If you don’t know who Dave is,  he was the man behind Radio First Termer, a Pirate Radio Station which broadcasted nightly, January 1, 1971 to January 21, 1971, from Saigon during the Vietnam War.

According to Dave’s site “Radio First Termer was hosted by on-air personality “Dave Rabbit,” an anonymous United States Air Force sergeant. The show was broadcast from a secret studio in a backroom of a Saigon brothel. The make-shift studio walls were lined with mattresses to deaden the sounds emanating from the brothel. “Dave Rabbit” later admitted in an interview, that he was forced to stop broadcasting because he was fearful that his friends, who were protecting him and the show, were in imminent danger of getting in trouble by his base commander, who hated his show and suspected that someone was protecting him. The purpose of Radio First Termer, according to “Dave Rabbit”, was to “bring rock and roll to the troops on the front lines.” The station played “hard acid rock” such as Steppenwolf, Bloodrock, Three Dog Night, Led Zeppelin, Sugarloaf, the James Gang, and Iron Butterfly, bands which were popular among the troops but largely ignored by the American Forces Vietnam Network (AFVN). The music was mixed with antiwar commentary as well as skits poking fun at the U.S. Military, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard M. Nixon, the Base Commander, just to name a few. Raunchy sex and drug oriented jokes were always a tremendous part of the nightly shows.”

Way cool, right kids?

Ass-Kicker of the Fantastic kicking ass fantastically at the Bellmore Billiards

This Friday night, starting around 9 PM at the Pool House Billiards Hall & Pub, BellMojo’s own Paul Ranieri and his Ass-Kickers of the Fantastic will be playing a night of rock and roll from Aerosmith to Zeppelin! This band features Jon BivonaSean Meagher and Sean Dolan, all Paul’s compadres from The Mark Wood Experience!

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Back Behind The Bar

The Pub. A place long venerated in song and prose. For those of you that do not know me (and are actually not presumptuous enough to conclude this because of my last name) I’ve been in a few pubs. Both as a professional and a customer. From my time as a kid asking the bartender if I might play Space Invaders while my dad nursed an afternoon beer to my time asking a kid why her ID had a different name than her Facebook profile, it has almost always been an fascinating experience.

Tending bar or waiting tables or working the line can be said to be quite like being in military in that there are vast gulfs of boredom and monotony interspersed with moments of absolute insanity. You are also surrounded by social misfits and control freaks with anger-management issues. In the military this type of person is often called the Drill-Instructor, in the restaurant business they are usually referred to as Chef. There is also an element of danger working in a bar or even a high-end restaurant, particularly if those places are frequented by certain folks that have money, influence or bravado, combine these things with booze,drugs and sex (or the potential for sex) and things can get volatile.

Cooking is also dangerous, it’s like Bourdain says, “Food is Pain”. I cannot tell you the number of times that I have hurt myself or seen others hurt in the business from just stuff that happens in the kitchen. When you have intense heat (sometimes in a non-water soluble liquid suspension that likes to stick to things and is flammable), cramped quarters, unsure footing, sharp objects (both metallic and ceramic) and the pressure of expedience, eventually someone is bound to get hurt. Gods, the stuff I did to myself working a slicer in the deli business alone! You could also imagine what goes through your mind when you pick up a sizzle platter and realize you can’t put it down because it has become fused with the flesh on your fingertips or how ridiculous you might look after lighting the burner jet on a steam table after the underside has filled with gas. I assure you, Yosemite Sam would have been proud.

Benefits are almost unheard of in Mom & Pop stores, however there is certainly the upside. You usually eat and drink for free, often in restaurants at which you don’t work (we call this being in the “union”) and the money can be quite good. You work in an environment where people are willing to cover shifts and in which extra work is easily found. The people that are in the business are good time folk and the folk that come in are looking to have a good time.

In the restaurant business you will also make important contacts and learn valuable lessons. Like getting to know the person that will deliver a package 3:45 am or seeing that a Galliano bottle is an extremely effective close-quarters weapon. In this day, Galliano bottles are few and far between behind the bar, but those new Van Gogh flavored vodka bottles would do nicely. Although the business end of the Galliano is weighted and that Van Gogh stuff is really too delicious to waste in a melee.

And romance, you got that in spades, I tells you! If you’ve spent any real time in the biz you’ve had at least one trist in a public bathroom, and any man or woman that is a bartender worth their salt has bedded one object of their desire, quite often their future spouse, on the couch in the boss’ office. Like I said, no benefits but there are perks.

Big News! BellMojo Productions to Collaborate with RAW Studios!

Hey, it’s Pat Kennedy, folks. Some of you out there know that I am not good at keeping secrets. As a matter of fact I am terrible at keeping secrets, particularly big ones that involve old college friends, legendary comic-book illustrators and prominent actors, still I kept my damn mouth shut!

But, lo and behold, here I see an article on DREAD CENTRAL about CLOSED FOR THE SEASON, a supernatural-abandoned-amusement-park thriller directed by Jay Woefel that is screening at Monster-Mania 14 this coming March 12th-14th. The director, as well as stars Damian Maffei & Joe Unger will be in attendance! Wow, a chance to see a new feature horror film that also stars fan favorite Aimee Brooks! This is shaping up! Then I notice that the article mentions my pal Damian Maffei, a BellMojo Productions regular, is starring in something called “Thomas Jane presents SUCKERFISH”!

Well, if everybody must know, I was lucky enough to meet Mr. Jane recently and he gave to me a one-act play written by one W.T. Underwood which I have submitted to the Fringe Festival NYC. Should we be accepted to the festival Mr. Jane will co-produce along with Damian and me. Tim Bradstreet, Mr. Jane’s partner at RAW Studios, has volunteered his remarkable services as production designer. Damian will star, I will direct and Paul Ranieri, will provide original theme music for the show. Anna Camp of HBO’s TRUE BLOOD and EQUUS has said “So I read the play and I felt like I got punched in the stomach then twisted around a pole and before I knew it I was left hauntingly alone…“Suckerfish” is definitely a ride to take…you might get a bruised, in a good way. Very well written and fast paced.” Anyway, we at BellMojo Productions are waiting with baited breath for confirmation from the NYC Fringe and while we do so we are working to bring Thomas Jane’s directorial debut DARK COUNTRY, to a theater in the NYC area for a screening in Super-Terror 3D! If you want to get it in your neck of the woods, shoot me an email at pat@bellmojo.com.

If you’d like to check out Damian Maffei performing live you can come out Monday, February 8th for a FREE staged reading of  “Miracle Day”, a new play written and directed by Tom Sime (Writer in Residence at Theatres at 45 Bleecker in New York) at the intimate downstairs theater at 45 Bleecker.

We’re really psyched that Tom has put his faith in us to take a work of such power by a playwright as interesting as Underwood and bring it to a New York City stage. It’s an honor and a privilege. Oh, and remember, DARK COUNTRY is available on DVD, and Tom can be seen on HBO’s new hit series HUNG.

Legs Malone in the New York Post!

Wow! I can’t tell you the last time I ran out to buy a copy of the New York Post but that’s just what I did when I found at that BellMojo Production’s oft-time collaborator, the Lovely Legs Malone: The Girl with the 34 and a Half Inch Inseam! So, Raus! Mach Schnell! Get out there and pick up today’s Post and remember that Legs will be one of the featured artists Friday, April 2nd for BAD GIRLS ON GOOD FRIDAY at P.J. Finnegan’s, 3275 Hempstead Tpke in Levittown, N.Y.!

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A Love For Football!

Undoubtedly some folks that might be reading this are wrinkling their brows at what they might think is a love letter to the mega-corporation-military-industrial complex’ bread and circuses MKULTRA-esque mind control machine, so be it. Yes, sports are meaningless distractions that the powers that be use to veil us from the horrors that are the mundanities of life and I am one of those that lives vicariously these through genetically magnificent, drug enhanced, armored psychopaths let loose on a concrete field covered in industrial outdoor carpet that is called the Grid Iron. I think we need distractions as humans, and if you are a person that tunes into the horrors of such stuff as AMERICAN IDOL and doesn’t recognize it for the same hit of opiate for the masses, for shame! That being said, let’s talk about football. Around my house as a kid sports were pervasive and while the old man had respect and love for all sports (particularly America’s passtime, a sport of which my father had one of the most treasured pieces of memorabilia, a signed picture of the Bambino) we were a FOOTBALL house! My father was a long suffering Giants fan and I am still a Pittsburgh Steelers fan in some ways because of him. I bet him my weekly allowance, $10 (a truly princely sum to an 8 year old circa 1979) that the Steelers would defeat the HATED Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl XIII! They did 35-31 and comics were only .35 cents back then and among the gargantuan stack of 4 color adventure was Avengers #181, a milestone in and of itself! I have since been fiercely loyal to the Steelers and while the next year they were to go on and defeat the Los Angeles Rams (that’s right kids, LA Rams) the ensuing 1980s were not so great. Still football was the sport to which I most gravitated and still enjoy the most to this day. I can still remember points of my life with dear friends, watching the kick that went wide right from my bended knees at Caroline Maher’s house or discovering I wanted John Elway to actually win when he dove for the first down against Green Bay. I was watching the game with Angry Al Puco, one of the few men on the planet that has had the privilege to play QB to my Center, and the maniacs that rented a mansion with him in Bay Crest! Boy, did the neighbors hate us! These are two that readily come to mind with Ralphie Parker-like nostalgia. If you are a non-fan that’s never witnessed those moments, YouTube ‘em and you won’t be disappointed! I also love watching old NFL Films simply for the voice-overs! The late Harry Kalas’ baritone still gives me goosebumps! And the level of play, let’s face it folks, there is no sport on the planet were more forethought and energy are put into every play than in the NFL! Period! The End! That’s why there is no way it can be played more than once a week! Those are some of the reasons I love football! Well, those reasons and wings! Have a Happy Super Bowl everyone!

Anybody Hungry? How About Some Gumbo?

My new friend Beth Accamondo who does the CINEMA JUNKIE blog for KPBS in San Diego sent me and Stew “Sugar-Mags” Goldstein a box of gourmet brownies for a Gumbo recipe! It was a sweet deal on our end, I think Beth got rooked, but I figured it was a pretty decent recipe and deserved to be posted here!

gumboOkay, one of the things about gumbo is that no 2 are the same, gumbo is really more of a term like stew, consomme or chowder. So, pretty much whatever you got lying around can go in it. One of the things that is not in most gumbos is okra or file, not a lot of folks like okra and file is an easy out.

The proper way to thicken a gumbo is with a roux and there are various ways to make roux. I like to go simple, use 1 part oil, corn or canola (something with a high smoking point but not peanut oil) and one part flour. Heat the oil in a deep frying pan or Dutch oven, preferably cast-iron, at a low flame till it’s really hot then whisk in the flour stirring constantly. Cook for about 10-15 minutes depending on how dark you want the roux. If you are doing duck, turkey, venison or gator you might like your roux to be a little darker. Shrimp, fish, chicken and scallops you may want to go a little lighter but make sure that it’s fully cooked and doesn’t have a chalky taste. Separate a sample and let cool, please! You have no idea how hot and sticky roux can be, it’s like napalm. No joke!

To make your simple shrimp stock take the heads and shells from the cleaned shrimp and bring it to a boil in a quart or 2 of water with some celery innards. That’s why I like to use a quart of chicken stock so you can make the shrimp stock really intense. Always throw a few bay leaves in any stock, pork, chicken, beef, fish, whatever!

There’s also a recipe for a good no sodium Cajun spice mix. Let’s face it, you can always add salt at the table and don’t buy into that “iodide is a necessary nutrient” crap, Kosher salt tastes better and has 50% less absorbable sodium than table salt.

Cajun Spice

* 4 teaspoons Paprika
* 3 teaspoons Garlic powder
* 3 teaspoons Fr. ground pepper
* 2 1/2 teaspoons Onion powder
* 1 1/2 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
* 1 1/2 teaspoon Dried thyme — crumbled
* 1 1/2 teaspoon Dried oregano — crumbled

For the roux

* 4 ounces vegetable oil
* 4 ounces all-purpose flour

* 2 quarts stock (chicken or shrimp or both)  with one cup crushed or pureed tomatoes

* 2 cups of the TRINITY (1 cup diced onion, 1/2 cup diced celery, 1/2 cup diced green peppers)
* 1 tablespoon kosher salt
* 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
* 1 teaspoon fresh thyme, chopped
* 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
* 1/2 teaspoon Cajun spice (no sodium)
* 1/2 pound andouille sausage, cut into 1/4-inch pieces and browned

* 2 tablespoons minced garlic

* 1 1/2 pounds raw, whole, head-on medium-sized (31-50 count) shrimp

1. Prepare the roux and bring stock & tomato to a simmer.
2. Take the diced onion, celery, green peppers & andouille and toss in the spice mix but save a little for the shrimp.
3. Once the stock is at temperature and the roux is ready and on a low heat, mix the trinity in with the roux and saute until onions start to look translucent, stirring constantly then add the garlic absolutely last.
4. Add the hot stock right after the garlic and stir with a whisk to insure there’s no clumping. The heat of the stock will help with this but you should still stir constantly!
5. Add shrimp and remaining spice mix, stir and bring to a low boil then simmer.
6. Continue to stir occasionally and it will be ready in 15. If it doesn’t look like it’s bubbling, don’t worry, there is plenty of heat in the mix!

HELP THE HERO INITIATIVE!

Hey, folks, got a cool charity auction coming up to benefit the Hero Initiative! For those of you that are unfamiliar with this outstanding charity here is their mission statement;
The Hero Initiative creates a financial safety net for comic creators who may need emergency medical aid, financial support for essentials of life, and an avenue back into paying work. Since inception, the Hero Initiative has been fortunate enough to benefit over 40 creators and their families with over $400,000 worth of much-needed aid, fueled by your contributions! It’s a chance for all of us to give back something to the people who have given us so much enjoyment.
I found out about it from Ms. Renee Whitterstaetter, one of the very nice comic-book professionals that I routinely pester on social networking sites. Here’s what Renee had to say in her latest blog about it;
“On E-Bay right now: the Mid-Ohio-Con charity auction is up and running and our friend James Henry, one of the organizers of the show, has just send me some images and links to the auction, which includes an awesome Batman sketch that Steve Scott did for the convention on their Main Stage.
The auction also features copies of the Texeira’s “Babes & Brawn” sketch book, Golden’s “Heroes & Villains sketchbook,” and the Creator Chronicles DVDs that I co-produced on Joe Jusko and Bill Sienkiewicz, so take a look. You’ll also find some great pieces by some of our friends such as Chris Sprouse, Billy Tucci, Fred Hembeck, Jay Fife, Todd Nauck and many more, representing the awesome line-up at last years show!”

You can check out a page with all the eBay listings here!

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